Do you believe in signs?
I've been unhappy in my day job. The best thing about it is I get two months off in the summer. That, and the crappy pay check, are what have kept me coming back for the last few years. I almost quit this summer, but it's hard to argue with a regular income.
It's not a hard job. In fact, it gives me lots of time to do my own things — like write. But I was raised in a strong-work-ethic, Catholic-guilt family, so doing my own thing on the clock brings so much emotional baggage that I can't really focus. So I spend a lot of time being bored, trying to make work for myself that will somehow benefit the organization.
Now, I've had some feelers out, and there's rumor a job will be opening up come July. It will be in my local area, so less driving for me. It's
So there I was, two weeks ago, driving up the hill to work. I was having a conversation with The Big Guy, about what I should do with my life. It went something like this: “Listen, God, I need a sign. I need to know if I should stick it out in this job until next summer, in hopes the new job will be there for me, or if I should seriously start putting out resumes and try to find something new, now. I need direction–a sign. And it needs to be a BIG SIGN. None of these subtle little ones, but a big-ass “DO THIS” kind of sign.”
Yeah, I probably shouldn't say “big-ass” to God, but He and I go way back.
I got to work, and my boss came out of a meeting, came in my office, and shut the door. In the three and a half years I've worked for her, she's never done that before, so I was a little apprehensive.
She gave me the scoop: a soon-to-be-announced reorganization had been finalized. Major departments were to be shuffled. She and our admin assistant would be promoted. The other directors in the building will be given more responsibility.
“What about me?” I asked. I wasn't worried about being let go, because our organization doesn't do that–even when they should. “With you taking on a larger work load, this would be a great time to transfer more of the program management to me. You know I can do it.” I've been asking for more work for ages.
She nodded because she knows I can do it. Then she said, “We're not going that direction at this time.”
Well, I asked for a big-ass sign. Everyone is getting promoted except me. That's pretty telling. I went home that afternoon and wrote my resignation letter.
What will I do now? I guess I'll have more time to write.
How about you–do you believe in signs?
